Thursday, August 6, 2009

Calgon, take me away!

Some of you may remember these wonderful commercials, for soap, I think. A woman, usually confronted by stressful situations, retreats to her bathtub, and she is transported to an oasis, usually with a waterfall and wonderful smelling flowers as soon as she exclaims "Calgon, take me away!" My best friend, Aleshia, and I have been making this statement for some time now, and so far, no magical vacation for me. Doesn't keep me from trying, and this morning, I actually said it out loud to myself.

It all started yesterday when Dylan got home from daycare. Drew noticed a clear jaw mark on his arm, clearly from another little one at daycare. As upset as I was, and as much as I would like to have a little chat with that lad, I was a biter at one time too. I understand that children bite when they can't communicate, and as Drew mentioned, Dylan probably deserved it. Our daycare provider didn't mention anything to Drew about it yesterday, so I decided to drop him off this morning to make sure that she understood what was going on. She had no idea, and she promised me that she would watch the little boy who she figured had chomped on Dylan's forearm.

During the rest of the evening, it became understandably clear that my neurotic dog has gone deaf. He clearly cannot hear my voice when I yell at him, and he continued to bark at every innocent person/bicyclist/dog/squirrel/fly that passed our house. He finally got confined to our bedroom, just to give us a little peace during dinner. When I finally let him out, he swiftly went to our living room rug, sniffed it, and then proceeded to lick the imaginary crumbs he was sure we left behind from the horrible dinner that I made.

Good transition: dinner. I thawed out pork chops for dinner yesterday, and in my effort to change things up, I decided to bake them with bread crumbs. I thought that it would be great if I added some Parmesan cheese to the bread crumbs before breading the pork - who wouldn't love a little cheese? After popping them in the oven, I stood around the kitchen very proud of myself. I decided to make stove top and corn to go along with our pork chops, and I thought I had made a nice, round meal. Little did I know, that the bread crumbs along with the cheese, along with the stove top would be so salty. It was like I had emptied our salt shaker onto my plate and was licking it off. Horrible. Needless to say, Drew knew better than to mention anything about the dinner, and I didn't keep the remaining pork.

Now, picture early evening. Cody had a feeding at 8:00pm, and went right to sleep. Great, now I can catch some winks as well. Ha! He woke up at 10:00, ready to eat and poop. Drew was awake, but for some unknown reason, I got up as well, fed Cody and then proceeded to bounce him up and down until 1:30am. He finally pooped, and then ate again. Thankfully, he was so tired from trying to go to the bathroom and tooting, that he went right to sleep..... until 4:00am. At least with this feeding, I was expecting it. Tiring yes, but still predictable. He ate quickly, and both of us were back in bed at 4:30.

Then, Dylan woke up at 5:00am wanting to watch cartoons in our living room. I didn't have a whole lot of patience, and I gave him two choices: go back to bed in his bed, or come and cuddle with mommy. After a little hissy fit on the floor of our bedroom, I marched him back into his room, and tucked him back into bed. He did go back to sleep, I think, until 6:00, when he opened his door and proclaimed, "Einsteins!" His favorite show is Little Einsteins, and somehow he knows that it comes on at 6.....

As I was walking him into the living room in the semi-dark to turn on Einsteins for him, I stepped into something wet. Great... I hopped on one foot over to the light, flipped it on, and realized that Boomer had decided to puke up his dinner on our rug. Keep in mind that the only flooring we have in our entire house is hard wood and tile, so I get extremely frustrated when he decides to puke on one of the 3 rugs in the house. For some reason, he can't puke on the regular floor. Last week, he actually went into Cody's room to puke when I was awake in the early morning hours, and he couldn't puke on the living room rug... After cursing under my breath and shooing him out of the house, I grabbed the paper towel and cleaner.

That's when I heard Cody start to cry - it is at this moment that I muttered the words that I hoped would whisk me away - "Calgon, take me away!" So, while Cody works himself into the crying motion without the sound (moms, you know exactly what I mean), and Dylan sings along with the Einsteins theme song, I clean up the remainder of the puke.

Needless to say, we got Cody fed and Dylan dressed for daycare. I even decided that Boomer could eat breakfast, and I fed him once I got home. That brings me to this moment, when I am enjoying a caribou and some quietness. So amazing how relaxing that could be - not quite a tropical waterfall, but a moment to myself. That will have to work for today - or at least until 9:00........

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