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Wednesday, October 7, 2009

When people make derogatory comments about some women and their stupidity, I usually stand up for my kind. I take the role of devil's advocate, and find a reason why their actions were reasonable and just. However, there are a few women who get under my skin, and my blood pressure rises.

Tonight, while picking up the boys from Norma's house, I saw a familiar silver SUV barrel down her residential street. I feel the woosh of her car go past me at a speed so ridiculous that I curse under my breath when I see her coming. My mind always goes to that depressing place where I imagine it's my little boy who runs into the street, his innocence masking his ability to watch out for cars. Surprisingly, she is heading to the daycare down the street to pick up her own children.

I had had enough. I put my car in gear, careful not to speed myself, pulled close to her already parked car, rolled down my window, and with more emotion evident in my voice than I expected, I asked her to slow down. I told her that my own two boys attended daycare down the block from her children, and someday someone will get hurt. Thankfully, without too much argument from her, she said that she would. I hope so.

I decided that tonight would be a good time to go and work out to expel some of my negative energy, and was excited to get on the elliptical. I had to stop in the locker rooms first, though. I use a heart rate monitor that Drew gave me for Christmas last year, and the monitor needs to be placed under my shirt around my rib cage. When I entered the locker rooms, I spotted a locker in my normal spot, and planned to get myself together. The bench however, was cluttered with someone else's stuff - with no woman in sight. Clearly, she left her belongings to go to the restroom, check herself out in the mirror, etc. As this young woman turned the corner, I had just lifted up my shirt to put on the monitor. This little tart literally stopped in her tracks, seemingly double-taking at my belly, shocked that I would be exposing it to the public. I wanted to scream at her - I wondered how many children her little hips have beared, or how many times her belly had grown twice, even three times as big as it was now. Never. If she had only seen my stomach immediately after giving birth. The earbuds from her cute, pink ipod would have probably shot right out of her ears as she head would completely spin around her body as she stood in horror of my donut around my middle...

With the thoughts of my afternoon and evening, I had a hard time sleeping last night, and when I woke this morning I couldn't figure out what to wear. My frustration grew with each sweater I put on and then pulled off in disgust (concealing my shocking donut gets difficult sometimes). My mind kept going back to these two women and how their actions had clearly made a mark on my psyche. Why was this bothering me so much? Some people would say that this is my personality - that too often, I am affected greatly by the choices that others around me make. As I left the house this morning, I was thankful that they boys hadn't been affected by my pissy temperment, and things went smoothly. With that in mind, I desperately tried to pull myself from this funk, determined not to let it ruin my day. I don't mind being a little ornery at work, but I don't want to be the defeated version of myself tonight - when I get to spend the few precious moments of time with my family. Now if all of the mindless, absurd women will just stay out of my way........

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