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Monday, February 1, 2010

Undeniably nuts

My husband is legally bound. My boys are naturally bound. None of them can get away.

I am crazy. Most of my creativity and patience is sucked dry at work. By the time I make it home, I have a terrible headache, and am pretty much the worst person on the planet. I hate it that the people that I get paid to be around are the ones that enjoy the best hours of my day (no offense guys), while my wonderful family gets the crazy lady as a wife and mommy. Loud noises make me want to pull my hair out, my dog makes me want to stick pencils in his nostrils while pulling on his ears.. hard.... The television is always too loud, and yet when I reach the remote, Dylan assertively tells me that I can't have it, and that its Daddy's. Too bad Daddy is out of the room, and looks at me like I have to large warts for eyes when I ask him to turn it down. for the 53rd time in an hour.

I can't get back into my daily workout routine and my hair is falling out. Wow - don't I sound lovely - see, I told you that Drew was legally bound. He is far too frugal to spend money on a divorce attorney. I honestly think he would rather spend an eternity with me as this brownie-devouring monster than pay for someone else to file the paperwork.

God bless America - I have to do something. Ideas of fixing myself are firing through my head - drink water, stop drinking coffee, workout, sleep for 3 days straight, paint my house, get drunk. I can't quite figure out what it would take to return me to my normal self, and I am starting to think that I need to get used to this "new normal". Maybe re-starting those antidepressants in my medicine cabinet would be a good start.... I think that's been Drew's idea - he's been slying telling me that he isn't going to let me waste another doctor's appointment, co-pay, and prescription to sit in the cabinet and rot away.

While the man may be legally bound to me, I have a feeling that he loves me enough to look past my actions lately. Either that or he has already accepted the "new normal" and is going to start wearing his safety glasses and hard hat in the house to keep himself safe when I throw that damn remote across the room.

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