Wednesday, March 31, 2010

The day started out like all the others: sleepily pushing myself and Drew out of bed while the darkness is still all-consuming, going through the motions of the morning. However, during my consistent routine, it became obviously clear that this day wouldn't be like the others - it would be far worse. As the moments ticked on, my patience grew thinner, my voice grew louder, and my soul longed to curl up into a ball and start. all. over.

But I couldn't. I had to continue. I had to push through. That's exactly what it feels like too - like I am pushing myself through this marathon that I never wanted to run in the first place. But, in this marathon of March 31st, I can't see the finish line - and while I am dragging myself through each step, I am afraid that I will lose control and hurt the people cheering me on from the sidelines. The people that love me the most. The people who will always be cheering me on.

So, today, I will lock myself away. The race will be done for today soon enough, and I will be able to curl up and start tomorrow. I will start tomorrow with more smiles, more patience, more stamina.

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