Thursday, July 22, 2010

Complete and content

40 weeks pregnant with Dylan

39 weeks pregnant with Cody

Those two mornings will never be erased in my mind. I went into the bathroom as one person, and emerged as a pair. Once the second line appeared each of those days, I wasn't alone. I was "holding" my babies. While those early mornings were almost 3 years apart, the immediate comfort I felt was the same. This was my only chance to assist God in quite possibly the best miracle of life. I was pregnant.

I still have both of my tests, Drew mistakingly thinking that they were thermometers for quite some time (I corrected him when he was about to put one in his mouth during a bout with the flu). I will come across them every once in a while, now hidden away, and I wonder why I keep them. Deep down, I know that I will never throw them away - they are the very clear picture of a girl before and a mother afterward. And, they are the first signs of joy entering my life.

With our two boys, we life a very busy life. Keeping up with daily chores and offering them the love and attention they need is quite the balancing act. While I spend some evenings tired and worn down, I love every minute of it.

When we found out that Cody was going to be a boy at my 20-week ultrasound, I immediately knew that we were complete. A foursome we would be. I could imagine people saying, "Look at those Hageman boys - aren't they handsome?!" and "Watch out for those Hageman boys - they are crazy!" Both statements will be absolutely true, and I will watch them as their proud Mama. These two boys are the best people God could have gifted Drew and I. This is the one true running theme in my blog. I can't say it enough - I adore them.

But, there will be no more. We are enough - we are great - and we are finished. We have made the life-altering decision to be done having children, and soon, my baby factory will be closed for business. I cannot be more excited, which Drew thinks is a wierd notion. But, as many mothers and women will attest - I hate birth control. I hate thinking about it. I hate taking it. And, I am not going to be the mother of 3. My two boys made me content and our family complete.

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